Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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