My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
