i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
