he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
