Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
