Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
