I love black thongs
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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