Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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