Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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