Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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