Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
