i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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