My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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