So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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