sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
