Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Will exercising make me less horny?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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