I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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