theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
