They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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