I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
