Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize