You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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