he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
