You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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