are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize