And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
