That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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