brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
how can u be prego again
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
