sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
