Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
