I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
