my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
