We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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