But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
