do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
