i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
