I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
