I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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