do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
