How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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