I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize