He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize