I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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