Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
no you cant smoke seaweed
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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