I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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