i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
kristin has been a bad kristin
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
