Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
