Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
