i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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