i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
