i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
They have beer where we have blood.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize