if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
