glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
