he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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