party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize