I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize