Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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