the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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