Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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